8/26/06 Clear as Mud

I want to post something in my blog. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, and I don’t want to leave my readers hanging (I have a big crowd of readers- probably upwards of 5). So I’m going through my journal to see what I have that could be posted. In addition to this picture that has nothing to do with my blog, several subjects catch my eye:

A cute story about one of my kids,

The gossip problem that is creeping into our church (yes, OUR church!),

My customer service experience that escalated to my openly yelling at the witch/manager while customers stopped to see the show,

My excitement and relief that the kids will be back in school in about a week

I don’t know… It's all either too boring or too in-depth.

I’ll just ramble about my feelings, I guess.

I feel some sort of emptiness. I don’t know why. I am relatively connected to God. I force myself to trust in Him, and immediately start feeling a sense of peace or relaxation. I love how that works. But then it is short lived. I have to keep letting go over and over. Maybe that’s how it is supposed to work, but it just seems like a battery that won’t keep a charge.

I need more friends too. For years, I have been praying for a friend. I have always had lots of “friends” in social situations that are fun to talk to, and who I care about. But in my whole lifetime, I have had very few friends who really know me. I keep trying to build friendships, and I really love the ladies who have entered into the early stages of friendship with me. I am thankful for all of the new relationships. There are so many possibilities. But how long will it take to form that special friendship with someone, and will it ever happen?

Well, that’s all for now. Maybe next time I will have a nice, well-thought-out entry for my blog. No guarantees!